March 10, 2016 / como / 0 Comments
Few things are as tragic or traumatic as a divorceespecially for any school-aged children who may be involved. It is almost a given that despite the best intentions of the parents to keep everything civil, children will still generally choose sides and ultimately decide who they believe caused the divorce. For this parent, reconciliation can seem like an unending nightmare. In many cases, the scars caused by a divorce will linger on in a family for generations to come. While many families choose the let’s not talk about the divorce strategy, few children can accept such a closed-minded answer.
Few divorces begin mutually. There is usually one spouse who files for divorce first and ends up hurting the feelings of the other in the process. It is common for children to identify with the parent who was served papers, especially if they are perceived as an innocent victim or at least as the parent who was trying to make the marriage work. Many children will blame the parent who filed for divorce even when it was actually the better thing to dofor all involved.
It is also common for the children of a divorce to have more sympathy and respect for the parent who has primary custody. This parent is generally perceived as the one who must work a job PLUS take care of the children while the other parent only has to send a check and maybe spend some time with them on the weekends. If deliberate steps are not immediately taken to establish a relationship with the children after the divorce has been finalized.
The primary problem is one of trust. The child often feels betrayed by the parent who, in their mind, caused the family to split up. The only way to reestablish this trust is to make sure to be completely honest when they ask questions and to make sure that all commitments are honoredin other words, the child now wants, or rather expects, the offending parent to now treat them with the respect that they did not receive prior to the divorce.
A divorce does not always have to have a good and a bad parent. It is possible that the family can survive a divorce without completely breaking apart at the seams. When children are involved, it is important to reestablish trust with them by being completely honest and fulfilling all commitments made to them. Only by treating children with respect and giving them a voice in family affairs will there still be a family after a divorce.
March 10, 2016 / como / 0 Comments
Dr. Laura and I are in agreement that the kids come first, particularly in a divorce. If you are brewing over a family affair and wondering if you should invite your ex, please think through your decision with the children as the first basis for a yes or a no.
Ask yourself questions from as many angles as you can. Will he or she be bringing a date? Are the children comfortable with his new date? How will it affect you? Will you just glow with delight seeing him or her with a new partner? What might be some good reasons for not inviting him to attend the affair? Have you spoken to the parents, grandparents or in-laws involved? What is their input? Have you asked your children how they’d feel if your ex attended? Was it positive? Negative? I personally think that if you are inviting your ex to a holiday dinner or even to your wedding, you would be wise to look at this from all the angles. It would be rude not to invite the new person in your ex’s wife. Divorce interaction protocol does bring up some uncomfortable, emotional situations, so please don’t make a snap decision without a full look.
If you make it a habit of thinking of your kids first before you invite your former spouse to some event is the unfoldment of character that matures you over this kind of thing. We all have former relationships. We’ll all have future relationships. You want to act in a non-combative, collaborative way and you will be teaching your children to discipline their emotions and use reason when you make a decision. Tell your children all the things you looked at before you reached a decision and don’t hesitate to share with them that it pulled you in several uncomfortable directions. This is a superb learning opportunity.
It’s hard to sidestep a decision that involves more than just you. They just are complicated, but then, you are so capable. This kind of decision creates feelings that are emotionally challenging as well, because none of us likes to be in a situation or place someone else in a situation where their feelings will get hurt. No one like to feel hurt, and being in a room with your ex would bring all the old feelings back – both those that feel good and those that feel uncomfortable.
Have you considered how your ex might feel being invited to attend a function with a family to which he/she no longer is a part? If he/she does attend, you can consider who he might feel most comfortable talking with and seat him beside that person and away from someone who might be a touch more uncomfortable.
I think a rule of thumb is to have heart to heart discussions with the majority of people who are going to be involved and get their input. His/her attendance for some occasions would be arbitrary, and for others, like a child’s wedding, might be mandatory, say, in the case of inviting ex-grandparents to child’s wedding.
If the event involves your ex because the two of you are co-parenting, then at a minimum let your ex know about the event even if he isn’t invited. That’s only fair.
I know I didn’t provide any absolute answers. What I provided were considerations, because I think you’re capable of resolving this for yourself. It will strengthen your sense of self-worth and I’d like that for you. When a divorce enters into a family and children are part of the equation, it’s always a source of unfolding more character. Divorce is never fun, but the blessing that are intrinsic to it are undeniable.
March 9, 2016 / como / 0 Comments
Key Features The book is a vital contribution to Burmese, Indian and British history; it deals with a subject that has not been addressed before Has thirty-two pages of photos and several original handwritten letters Chronicles the story of Burmese independence from the British and is particularly relevant today when the country is moving from military rule to democracy About the Book: The King in Exile: The Fall of the Royal Family of Burma In 1879, as the king of Burma lay dying, one of his queens schemed for his forty-first son, Thibaw, to supersede his half brothers to the throne. For seven years, King Thibaw and Queen Supayalat ruled from the resplendent, intrigue-infused Golden Palace in Mandalay, where they were treated as demi-gods. After a war against Britain in 1885, their kingdom was lost, and the family exiled to the secluded town of Ratnagiri in British-occupied India. Here they lived, closely guarded, for over thirty-one years. The king’s four daughters received almost no education, and their social interaction was restricted mainly to their staff. As the princesses grew, so did their hopes and frustrations. Two of them fell in love with ‘highly inappropriate’ men. In 1916, the heartbroken king died. Queen Supayalat and her daughters were permitted to return to Rangoon in 1919. In Burma, the old queen regained some of her feisty spirit as visitors came by daily to pay their respects. All the princesses, however, had to make numerous adjustments in a world they had no knowledge of. The impact of the deposition and exile echoed forever in each of their lives, as it did in the lives of their children. Written after years of meticulous research, and richly supplemented with photographs and illustrations, The King in Exile is an engrossing human-interest story of this forgotten but fascinating family.
Details Of Book Book: The King in Exile: The Fall of the Royal Family of Burma Author: Sudha Shah ISBN: 9350292262 ISBN-13: 9789350292266 Binding: Paperback Publishing Date: 2012-06 Publisher: HarperCollins India Number of Pages: 480 Language: English
Source: Bookadda
BookAdda is an Indian online bookstore with collection of over 10 million books with more than 22,54,279 authors. We offer FREE delivery all over India and support multiple ways for SAFE,SECURE AND EASY online shopping. We sell only NEW books. About the Author: Sudha Shah Sudha Shah was schooled in Mumbai and thereafter got her degree in economics from Smith College, USA. Married and settled in Mumbai, she has one son. She has spent the last seven years researching and writing this book.
Reviews
‘An absorbing read. Exhaustively researched and gracefully written, The King in Exile tells a story of compelling human interest, filled with drama, pathos and tragedy? [It] heralds the arrival of a writer of non-fiction who is both uncommonly talented and exceptionally diligent? One of the great merits of [the book] is that it is completely free of jargon and theorizing. It is in essence a family story, centred on five women whose lives were waylaid by history’ -Amitav Ghosh
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February 27, 2016 / como / 0 Comments
Placing farm property in a trust-owned limited liability company (LLC) is often a key component of protecting a family farm against estate tax laws, creditors, law suits, nursing homes and other risks so it can continue to be enjoyed by future generations. Specifically, the LLC holding your farm property must be owned by an irrevocable trust.
If youre a farmer in Ohio, undoubtedly youve worked hard for the success of that farm and you want that hard work to benefit your family for many generations to come. Unfortunately, state and federal estate tax laws, debt obligations, nursing homes and other factors can put your farm at risk upon your death if proper succession planning is not in place.
While proper succession planning consists of many parts, an important part is often to create an irrevocable trust to own the LLC holding your Ohio or Dayton real estate. A lawyer can help you with this by drawing up the necessary legal documents that form the irrevocable trust, designate the beneficiaries, and describe what is to happen to the property and LLC upon your death.
Property in a Trust-Owned Limited Liability Company is Protected Against Most Debts and Lawsuits; Estate Taxes can be Minimized
By placing your farm property in a trust-owned LLC, the property becomes owned by the LLC, which is a legal entity just like a corporation, rather than being owned by you. Since you dont own it any more, the property is protected from many forms of debt and lawsuits. The irrevocable trust that owns the LLC adds another layer of protection and ensures that the LLC and property it holds is passed on to your chosen beneficiaries.
To more fully protect your Ohio or Dayton real estate, a lawyer with expertise in estate planning and business law can draft legal documents to create limited liability corporations, insurance trusts and other entities that work together to protect your farming business and personal assets for inheritance by your family.
Farm property in a trust-owned LLC can also avoid estate taxes. Estate tax law usually takes effect when property transfers to the beneficiaries. However, the legal documents for your irrevocable trust can specify that your beneficiaries can make use of the property while ownership is retained by the irrevocable trust and the LLC. Since the property is never transferred to the beneficiaries, estate tax laws never come into play.
Placing property in a trust-owned limited liability company is just one tool used to minimize estate taxes and other risks to your Ohio or Dayton real estate. A lawyer knowledgeable in succession planning and estate planning can show you additional ways to help you prepare a complete succession plan for your farm.
February 27, 2016 / como / 0 Comments
From getting pregnant to effectively handling the stages of childhood and even keeping a marriage together through it all, being a parent today is a full time occupation. Of all the occupations in the world, none are as challenging or as rewarding as raising a family. The journey is one of self discovery and personal development. The lessons learned are some of the most important you will encounter. The heartaches come, as do the blessings. If you survive through your family problems, you will earn a sense of satisfaction unlike anything you could imagine.
Women of all ages struggle with pregnancy. For some, a pregnancy may be unplanned. For others, pregnancy is a miracle. Some women struggle with carrying the baby to term. 1 in 3 pregnancies end in miscarriage. Even more have issues with infertility. Tubal obstructions, endometriosis, uterine fibroids, and ovarian cysts are all causes of infertility in women. Overcoming infertility can be an expensive, time consuming challenge. It is becoming more and more rare to find a normal pregnancy where everything happened from start to finish as it was planned, if it was even planned at all. But in the end, no matter how they get here, there is a reason babies are called a “bundle of joy.”
Once the baby is born, especially a first child, parents often find themselves overwhelmed and underprepared. The unknown is always scary and nothing is more so than a brand new baby. Its life is in your hands and you realize you have no idea what you’re doing. The crying, the colic, diaper rash, and worrying about the terrifying Sudden Infant Death Syndrome can give a new parent many sleepless nights. In addition to all the worrying, newborns rarely sleep through the night. You can always tell a new parent by the sleepless zombie gaze.
Eventually you develop a routine with your newborn and get to know its wants and needs. All of that is about to change. As your child becomes mobile, they move into the toddler stage. At first this is an exciting time. New parents get excited about the baby’s first steps and the real words the baby starts using. Then your toddler learns the one word that will change their life and yours – no. This is their first taste of free will, and boy do they choose to exercise it.
This can be an intensely stressful time for parents. Temper tantrums, fits, and refusing to cooperate are how the word “terrible” became attached to the word “twos.” The terrible twos are when boundaries are first recognized. Patiently learning communication skills is your most valuable asset in getting through these family problems. Once they have settled into their boundaries, the toddler years become an exciting time of discovery. As a parent, you get to see the world again through the eyes of your child.
As your child develops, you’ll notice that they mimic things around them. They’ll act like characters from books and television. They will pretend to talk on the phone and say the exact things you do. Conversation skills develop. And somewhere around age 8, they begin seeking their own independence. It’s not that they’re trying to break away from you (that comes later in the teen years). What they’re really attempting to do is define who they are. This is a crucial time for a parent to learn when to and when not to enforce boundaries. Of course you want to protect your child. However, at this point they need to be allowed to make their own mistakes so they can start to learn how to handle them. They also need to learn to be accountable for their actions.
By the time your child reaches the teenage years, if you haven’t already invested in some form of parenting education it is time to start. Once they hit the teenage years, your child has the reasoning skills of an adult without the life experience to back it up. That can make for a challenging time for both the child and the parent. It’s not uncommon for a sweet and loving child to grow into an abusive child when they reach the stage when hormones rage rampantly and social pressures put them into a position to make hard decisions without the experience to back them up. They will develop emotions that they don’t know how to express or control. You can help them through this time, but you could use some help yourself. With some patience and a bit of understanding, your child can finally grow up and you can look back with that sense of satisfaction mentioned earlier.
From the time the child is born until the time they can be considered an adult, you are their number one role model. “Do as I say, not as I do,” is not something you’re going to find in any book on parenting. It makes us accountable for our actions, just as we expect our children to be. Having children can make you want to be a better person. Overcoming the challenges of raising children and dealing with family problems builds your own self-confidence. You give so much to your children over the years. If you’re paying attention, they’re giving back to you as well.